50 Ways to Piss Off Freak Out Yakushi Kabuto
by HarvestMoonRacoon
Summary: 50 Ways to Piss off and frighten our favorite Sound Nin...


**_50 Sure-Fire Ways to Freak Out/ AnnoyYakushi Kabuto_**

**Author's Note: I've been on a humor kick lately, so enjoy...**

**__**

1. Change his cell phone's ring tone to "Spy vs. Spy".

2. Gather hundreds of pens and place them on the right side of the room. On the left side of the room, place one single pencil. Laugh at the pencil.

3. Watch "Pride and Prejudice" repeatedly, sighing loudly whenever Kabuto comes near.

4. Motion to the deadliest poison on his desk, and say "Dang! That stuff tasted good!"

5. Chew on the blunt end of his syringes.

6. Push all the furniture in his room to the left side of his room. Ask him how much an elephant weighs. When he says he doesn't know, look at the floor on the right side of the room with concern.

7. Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

8. Do the Moonwalk.

9. Stare for long periods at a picture of Rock Lee.

10. Draw a seal on your head with magic marker, stuff pillows down your shirt, and call yourself "Tsunade".

11. Hang on the back of his chair when he's doing important paperwork, and when he's drinking his coffee (over the papers, mind you.) say, "You love Tayuya, don't you?"

12. Tell_ everyone_ you meet in the Sound of Kabuto's undying love for chick flicks.

13. Tell Kabuto, "Orochimaru-sama's got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again.

14. Keep this up for several weeks.

15. Use Jirobo's stomach as an airbag. Run down one of the long corridors at top speed with your hands behind you, and at the last possible second, throw your self into a ball and crash into him.

16. Tell him Kabuto told you to do it.

17. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after Kabuto. Separate Kabuto's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake Kabuto's potato and eat it. Explain to him, "He just didn't belong"

18. Call Kabuto "Pinky.

19. During the night, position yourself over his head while he sleeps. Then, sometime, preferably a few hours before dawn, loudly say, "Kabuto, why do we have five toes instead of four?"

20. Insist on calling Sakon and Ukon "Thing 1" and "Thing 2".

21. Wait until Kabuto is almost finished eating a bran muffin and say, "Boy. You're eating that? Hope it tastes better then it _felt_. I tried sitting on it, but the bran was too rough"

22. Every time Kabuto walks in his laboratory yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere"

23. Ask him if he's a virgin.

24. Ask him why.

25. Wake him up in the middle of the night, preferably around 2 to 3 a.m, screaming his name. When he responds, ask him if people grow from spores.

26. Sing "Ode to a Superhero" whenever Kidomaru walks by.

27. Bookmark the Neopets homepage and program it to pop up whenever Kabuto gets online.

28. Hug him.

29. Tightly.

30. When Orochimaru summons Kabuto, sing "The Pied Piper of Hamlin"

31. Break a small glass container. Cover his desk (and his papers) with cooked ramen, and run to him, screaming **"The tapeworms are escaping! The tapeworms are escaping!"  
**

32. Fill his shoes with whipped cream.

33. When he shaves his face and is millimeters from cutting himself, scream.

34. Touch the bandage continually for the rest of the day.

35. Stick your hand in a power box and scream "CHIDORI!" as you pass out.

36. Stand on the kitchen table when the entire group is there, and serenade them with excerpts from Kabuto's diary.

37. Poke Ukon when Sakon isn't looking.

38. Cover Kabuto's room in flypaper.

39. Ask Kidomaru loudly why he loves Tayuya so much.

40. Tell him (after Tayuya beats both of you to a pulp) that Kabuto told you to say that.

41. Call Orochimaru "Mr. Jackson".

42. Gather all the toilet paper in the entire hideout, and hide it under Kabuto's bed.

43. Tattoo your name on Kabuto's forehead while he sleeps.

44. Make a sandwitch, and place it on the floor. Make no other movements or comments about it. When Kabuto throws it away, yell and refuse to speak to him for a week.

45. Chatter incessantly to make up for the lost time.

46. Sell him on Ebay.

47. Play with his hair when he's trying to work.

48. Tell Kimmimaru all of Kabuto's secrets.

49. Cut off Kabuto's ponytail when he's not looking.

50. Put greasepaint on the rims of his glasses.


End file.
